After 12 years leading a $27 million family foundation, I’m now consulting with donors and foundations to tackle what’s working—and, more importantly, what’s not—within the philanthropic ecosystem. I’ve joined a landscape crowded with well-resourced institutions like Harvard Business Review, Stanford Social Innovation Review, Grantmakers for Effective Organizations, Council on Foundations, Exponent Philanthropy, National Center for Family Philanthropy, National Committee for Responsive Philanthropy and more. Their research and tools are invaluable, but I believe my perspective augments what I lear from them: lived experience as a leader inside my own family’s foundation.
In this case, by “lived experience,” I don’t mean the grassroots proximity of those directly impacted by philanthropy’s decisions. I mean the reality of running a foundation from the inside: navigating family politics, entrenched traditions, resistance to change, and the slow, uphill climb of aligning practice with best standards.
Too many family foundations operate in insular patterns—hiring from within, resisting outside input, holding tight to “the way things have always been done.” But when I stepped into leadership, I pushed to align our work with external best practices. What I learned is that steering a family foundation toward meaningful change is like walking uphill through mud in weighted shoes: possible, but slow, draining, and full of obstacles.
Still, even in the frustration, progress emerged. And after reflecting on my tenure, I’ve distilled five lessons that I now carry forward into my work with other donors and foundations.
5 Lessons from Leading a Family Foundation
1. Change is Slow, But Progress Counts
Family foundations often fear or resist transformation, especially when traditions run deep. Change rarely comes in leaps—it’s incremental. Celebrating small steps forward helps sustain momentum and reminds us that progress is possible.
2. Clarity in Decision-Making is Essential
Foundations can stall when roles and authority aren’t clear. Establishing frameworks around who decides what—and when discussion is more useful than a formal vote—creates consistency and reduces conflict.
3. Always Ask: Where Are We, and Where Are We Going?
Too often, boards dive into day-to-day tasks without stepping back. Asking these two simple questions at least once a year can ground discussions in shared purpose and reveal blind spots in governance, grantmaking, and mission alignment.
4. It’s Not About Us—It’s About the Communities We Serve
Many donors view foundation assets as “family money” to control. But philanthropy’s power lies in shifting focus outward—to the people and organizations working on the frontlines. Trusting nonprofit expertise and staying proximate to their realities creates far greater impact.
5. Focus. Trust. Impact.
When family foundations try to fund everything, they spread resources and attention too thin. Focused priorities build trust—among board members, with grantees, and with communities. And trust is what ultimately drives measurable impact.
Moving Forward
Family foundations serve dual purposes: preserving family connection and supporting public good. But too often, the “togetherness” function overshadows real impact. What if both could thrive? By grounding operations in strong decision-making, focus, community trust, and accountability, family philanthropy can move from “doing good” to doing better.
The philanthropic ecosystem is far from efficient. Yet family foundations, and individual donors, hold enormous potential if they’re willing to look inward—with honesty, humility, and a commitment to evolve. That’s the practice I’m committed to supporting.
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